No doubt one of the biggest stressors for divorced or separated parents is what happens to their children. What was seemingly a joint household now becomes a divided one. For many, this means shuffling both the kids and their prized possessions. But, does it have to be that way?
What if the roles are changed? Instead of the children moving back and forth, mom or dad returns to the household when it’s their time to co-parent. Meanwhile, the other parent gets some time on their own in another location. If you think this type of arrangement could work, then you might be interested in a bird’s nest custody agreement.
Bird’s Nest Custody: What it Takes
As we bring you behind the scenes of a bird’s nest custody agreement, there is the assumption that there is a family home. More than likely, it is the place where the children are already active in school and neighborhood fun. Bird’s nest custody is designed to take the “sting” out of change.
Not every family is a candidate for this type of custody arrangement. For most, it would be challenging to co-parent in this fashion if the parental split was filled with animosity. Here are some other important considerations:
- Privacy: Your privacy is limited when your former spouse moves in to replace you.
- Stability: You may feel like a parent with two homes (you are). Instead of your children moving their personal items back and forth, you will be the one packing suitcases.
- Alternate Living Space: You and your ex will need alternative living space when it’s not your turn to live in the marital home.
- Best Interests of the Children: You and your former spouse will need to prove to the court that the best interests of the children will be met.
Of course, these are just some of the major concerns when it comes to bird’s nest custody. For one, there’s the expense involved in maintaining three households. Not only is there a need to split costs for the marital home, but Mom and Dad will both need their separate getaways.
All things considered, there’s also the issue of moving on. If one parent begins to date, things could get awkward. Moreover, what happens if the mother or father remarries? Does the new spouse get left behind or is he or she invited into the former marital residence?
Bird’s Nest Custody: One Perspective
As a matter of course, we seldom link to blogs to make a point of any kind. Notwithstanding, we did find a personal blog authored by a mother who was part of a bird’s nest custody arrangement. It gives an interesting perspective on the pros and cons of parents changing households.
What are some key points? For one, bird-nesting allowed the children to “get used to the idea that Mom and Dad were going to live separately, but each remain fully present in their lives.” Nevertheless, the author does point out how uncomfortable it felt to return to the marital bed, knowing her ex slept there the night before.
If you are intrigued by the idea that bird’s nest custody might work for your family, you may want to read this author’s complete blog for further insight.
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Are you involved in a child custody case and not sure how you’d like things to work out? The Law Offices of Anthony Carbone can provide you with experienced legal counsel. We are just a phone call away!