Children are the ones who suffer most from a divorce

It is no secret that very few walk away happy with the terms of a divorce. To some, a divorce is similar to the dissolution of a business arrangement. Others view it as remorseful as losing a loved one. The greatest victims are often the children of divorce. As part of its ruling, the court mandates the terms of a divorce agreement in the best interests of the children. However, parents can also follow some simple guidelines to benefit their offspring.
• Children should be advised that you and your spouse have decided to separate. It is not necessary for you to provide them with graphic details of the process. Be careful of the manner in which the message is delivered. The best-case scenario would be to sit down with your spouse together as a united front.
• Ensure that your children realize that they are not reason for your divorce. Unfortunately, too many young people feel their actions caused arguments within the family unit. They can suppress or overtly express guilty feelings well into adulthood.
• Do not encourage your children take sides or use them as pawns in the dissolution of your marriage. Although it may feel good to be the more popular parent, it can hurt your offspring in the end.
• Resist the urge to speak ill of your children’s other parent. After all, your children are comprised of two halves. In badmouthing their mother or father, you are essentially criticizing them as well.
• Do not call the police or Child Protection and Permanency, CP&P (formerly the Division of Youth and Family Services, DYFS) under false pretense. This does not mean that you should not look for help with REAL issues. Consider the impact of police presence or CP&P intervention can have on an innocent child.
• Take advantage of any counseling services available to you and your family.
• It is not necessary to bring your child to court unless the judge has set up an interview. Children are not permitted in the courtroom and the wait in the hallway serves no purpose.
• Follow the court order mandating your divorce. Children have a right to support from both parents. They also deserve parenting time from both of them. Do not make spiteful decisions that may ultimately hurt your children.

At the Law Offices of Anthony Carbone, we have nearly three decades of representing individuals who are ending their marriage. We recognize the many facets of divorce. Obviously, this does not include just the financial considerations. We believe in protecting your most important asset – your children. Please contact us to set up a meeting to discuss your plans to divorce.