How to Make Co-Parenting Work for Your Children
Settling on a child custody and visitation schedule can be the most difficult part of a divorce. Your children are the most important part of your life, and you don’t want to let them go without a fight. However, when you consider issues of custody, you have to keep your children’s interests as your main priority.
Don’t worry though; the Law Offices of Anthony Carbone has come up with some tips for parents who are considering making their co-parenting arrangement a successful one.
Give Your Children a Voice
During a divorce, your children will likely have a preference about where they want to spend their time. While your children can’t ultimately make this decision, how they are feeling about the situation can be valuable to the outcome.
Be sure to talk to your children about splitting time between both homes. During this kind of conversation, consider school, extracurricular activities, their friends, and a variety of factors that could help determine the best custody or visitation schedule.
Remember, a divorce can turn your children’s lives upside down. In some instances, your children may feel like they have lost control. So, letting them talk about their preferences related to when and where they want to stay could help them cope with the situation.
Talk Up the Other Parent
No matter how you feel about your ex-spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse, you owe it to your children to speak kindly about the other parent. You should never criticize the other parent in front of your children. This could cause emotional damage.
Make a Smooth Transition
A divorce isn’t only a stressful situation for you and your ex, but for your children as well. You should consider making it as easy as possible for them. We often find that this type of transition should occur during a time period when your children are well-rested or relaxed (i.e. – not during the middle of a school day).
Here are some ideas to keep in mind:
- Do not make your children feel guilty for you leaving
- Try saying goodbye without being exceedingly emotional
- If you can’t be civil with your ex, don’t see them. If your children need to be picked up from another location, ask a third-party (family member or friend)
Be Consistent with Your Children
A divorce means that your children have to adjust to the rules of two different households compared to one. This could be a big adjustment for your children, so you’ll need to demonstrate patience. If possible, work with your ex to create rules that are consistent for both households.
If one parent agrees with something and another does not, you should try to have a conversation about it. This is more helpful than talking down about the other parent and his or her decision.
Contact the Law Offices of Anthony Carbone Today
Have questions about divorce and what that means for your children? At the Law Offices of Anthony Carbone, we have thirty years of experience handling a variety of family law matters, including co-parenting matters such as child custody and visitation schedule.
Contact us today to schedule your free consultation.